Wednesday, 11 November 2015

‘Dilwale’ trailer is the perfect Diwali gift to Shah Rukh Khan, Kajol’s fans: Watch

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When you have the nation’s most favourite lover boy with eyes filled with emotions and his Simran reciprocating in the rightest way and he mouths the lines, “Mira, aaj ke baad mujhe apna chehra kabhi mat dikhaana… Jaan le loonga,” you know you are stuck on this one.

Rohit Shetty and team are back this Diwali with Shah Rukh Khan starrer ‘Dilwale’ that reunites him with his “Simran” Kajol after almost five years and yes, from the word go, they make you want to ask for more.

The official trailer of the movie opens with a young looking SRK and Kajol in, perhaps, her most sensuous avatar, romancing away to glory. But as every love story has its shares of ups and downs, our Hero and his Mira have some too, or so it seems.

We then see Varun Dhawan and Kriti Sanon making “swag” entry just quite like Rohit Shetty’s films. The duo looks minty fresh and shares a hot chemistry.
- See more at: http://indianexpress.com/article/entertainment/bollywood/dilwale-trailer-is-the-perfect-diwali-gift-to-srk-kajol-rohit-shettys-fans-watch/#sthash.ydzNB8mV.dpuf
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Rohit Shetty and team are back this Diwali with Shah Rukh Khan starrer ‘Dilwale’ that reunites him with his “Simran” Kajol after almost five years and yes, from the word go, they make you want to ask for more.
The official trailer of the movie opens with a young looking SRK and Kajol in, perhaps, her most sensuous avatar, romancing away to glory. But as every love story has its shares of ups and downs, our Hero and his Mira have some too, or so it seems.
We then see Varun Dhawan and Kriti Sanon making “swag” entry just quite like Rohit Shetty’s films. The duo looks minty fresh and shares a hot chemistry.
- See more at: http://indianexpress.com/article/entertainment/bollywood/dilwale-trailer-is-the-perfect-diwali-gift-to-srk-kajol-rohit-shettys-fans-watch/#sthash.ydzNB8mV.dpuf
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Rohit Shetty and team are back this Diwali with Shah Rukh Khan starrer ‘Dilwale’ that reunites him with his “Simran” Kajol after almost five years and yes, from the word go, they make you want to ask for more.
The official trailer of the movie opens with a young looking SRK and Kajol in, perhaps, her most sensuous avatar, romancing away to glory. But as every love story has its shares of ups and downs, our Hero and his Mira have some too, or so it seems.
We then see Varun Dhawan and Kriti Sanon making “swag” entry just quite like Rohit Shetty’s films. The duo looks minty fresh and shares a hot chemistry.
- See more at: http://indianexpress.com/article/entertainment/bollywood/dilwale-trailer-is-the-perfect-diwali-gift-to-srk-kajol-rohit-shettys-fans-watch/#sthash.ydzNB8mV.dpuf

How Shah Rukh Khan's 'Dilwale' trailer showed us everything that's wrong with Bollywood

Whew, it’s been two days since Shah Rukh Khan spammed everyone who's ever interacted with him on Twitter, with the Dilwale trailer. At first glance, the trailer looks amazing. But when you really think about it, you realise it's just a mash-up of Romeo and Juliet meets Josh on Fast and Furious cars in front of Windows 98 wallpapers (hat tip to Twitterati). Blogger Arnab Ray commented: “Even an Amit Shah speech fills me with greater anticipation.”
Frankly, the trailer, in 3:17 minutes, demonstrates everything wrong with Bollywood. Here are some things that struck me:
India is very, very, very tolerant
On his 50th birthday, Shah Rukh Khan held forth on the topic that has been hitting headlines in the nation for a while – intolerance. Frankly, the unstinting way the audience tolerates the mediocre fare that Bollywood dishes out, should re-assure SRK about the nation’s extremely high tolerance levels and should’ve been a point used by Anupam Kher and co. during their ‘tolerance march’!
There are zombies among us
It seems like half the people in this nation are now zombies without the ability to think. Don’t believe me? Just check any of the first responses any star receives from their fans on social media. It’s hard to believe that there are real, evolved Homo sapiens with opposable thumbs that are actually typing those comments. That also explains why people are willing to dole out their hard-earned money to watch whatever movie that Bollywood puts out, despite knowing fully well that it will be horrible.
The Khanploitation of Bollywood
Ever since Salman Khan's Dabangg became a hit, the Bollywood fraternity came to the conclusion that to make a movie a hit, they'd require a Khan or a Khan-lite (Akshay Kumar, Ajay Devgn, Hrithik Roshan), an item girl, a Honey Singh party song and high-budget fight sequences. It doesn't matter how good the plot is or how well it is executed, the audience will constantly flock to the hall simply to see their favourite star.
Reports of people willing to dole out Rs 750 to watch Salman Khan seduce someone 20 years his junior, can only evoke responses like this PRDP dubsmash.
Also Read: (The dummy's guide to promoting a Bollywood film)
Selling the same story 
The only good thing about the Dilwale trailer was the chemistry between SRK and (a surprisingly white-washed) Kajol. The saving grace is that at least SRK is romancing someone age-appropriate in a long time. On the other hand, we have to again endure Kriti Sanon (who tortured us along with Tiger Shroff in Heropanti) and Varun Dhawan who will again try to convince us that he is menacing like he tried in Badlapur.
The Great Spam Story
There was a time when the marketing of a movie was reserved to putting up a couple of posters and releasing the trailer. Now the promotion of a movie has many specific stages like first look, first trailer, first annoying hash tag (#PRDPinTheatresTomorrow and #Fastest9MViewsDilwaleTrailer) and the first time it made Aamir cry, so that by the time it actually hits the screens, we're too sick to actually see it. The release of the trailer saw Shah Rukh Khan taking spamming to a whole new level when he decided to tweet to every single individual on the face of the earth.

It's sad, because we know how good Shah Rukh Khan can be. But the changing face of Bollywood means we will probably never see performances like Darr, Chak De! India or Swades because producers are too scared to risk anything, which is ironic considering the Khans could probably sell anything if they wanted.

Dilwale trailer is out and not everyone's loving it

Do you like the trailer? PHOTO: PUBLICITY
Do you like the trailer? PHOTO: PUBLICITY
There was nothing ordinary about the event where Dilwale‘s trailer was released. In fact it was nothing short of grand. Crowds of fans and media gathered in Mumbai and waited for hours for the cast and crew of the film to unveil the trailer.
The grandiose display of designer cars at the trailer launch may have won the hearts of many, but did the trailer live up to the hype?
Video: Is this really how SRK, Kajol’s Dilwale will end?
PHOTO: PUBLICITY
The promo starts with SRK and Kajol posing in scenic locations and ends with Shah Rukh telling the love of his life (Kajol obviously) not to show her face to him again or he’ll kill her.
The other couple, Varun and Kriti also share a complex equation. Varun plays SRK’s younger brother, and it appears that during the course of the film he is made to choose between his brother and his lover (Kriti).
PHOTO: PUBLICITY
The series of events that follow in the trailer suggest that the film is packed with action and romance with a tinge of comedy to break free from the tension.
While the trailer doesn’t shed much light on the storyline, the repetitive car and action scenes become predictable. However that hasn’t stopped people from watching the highly anticipated film’s trailer. In less than 12 hours, the trailer has already crossed a million views on YouTube.
SRK could hardly contain his excitement at the trailer launch. “Dilwale was a wonderful filmmaking experience and the results will show on screen. Never enjoyed myself more while shooting for a film, right from reuniting with Kajol after a long gap to shooting the heavy duty action sequences, it was all a delight. I’m glad to be sharing the trailer with you guys as it will give you a perfect taste of the fun family film that Rohit Shetty has made!” he said, according to a press release.
Watch: SRK and Kajol back as Raj and Simran!
PHOTO: PUBLICITY
It seems like fans are not the only ones who were excited about the DDLJ jodi coming together. Even Kajol and SRK were just as eager to work with each other after a long hiatus. “Dilwale is an extremely special film. Not only for what it offers but also because of the people I have worked with here. I had a great time working on the film, especially with Shah Rukh, as well as Rohit. I think everybody is gonna have a great time watching it as we had a great time making it,” said Kajol.
PHOTO: PUBLICITY
Varun Dhawan couldn’t believe his luck and was ecstatic to have worked alongside King Khan and Kajol. “I have always been a big Rohit Shetty fan. But never did I expect to do a Rohit shetty film with Shah Rukh sir and Kajol ma’am. They are amazing actors and I’m the first from my generation to have worked with them. Dilwale is a coming together of all generations. It is the biggest family film ever made in Indian cinema, and I feel lucky to be a part of it,” he said.
Leaked: These videos from the sets of SRK-Kajol’s Dilwale are going viral!
PHOTO: PUBLICITY
Newcomer Kriti Sanon was just as thrilled and said, “I feel blessed to have gotten such a big opportunity so soon in my career. Now that we have put up the first look, I can’t wait for the release of the film. It has been a great learning experience for me and I truly wish all our efforts pay off.”
PHOTO: PUBLICITY
Dilwale is a family entertainer with a perfect blend of action, romance and comedy. The film will release on 18th December and go head-to-head with Sanjay Leela’s Bajirao Mastani starring Ranveer Singh, Deepika Padukone and Priyanka Chopra.
Here’s the trailer:
Like it?
Some loved it and others not so much:

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Monday, 9 November 2015

19 Awkward Sex Horror Stories That’ll Make You Turn Celibate

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Universal Pictures / Via hotflick.net

1. Submitted by Lucas Updyke (Facebook)

Once a girl I was seeing wanted me to use anal beads on her while we did it doggy style. I’m not really into butt stuff so I didn’t know what I was doing, but I went along with it. Since I was new to the whole thing, I didn’t know you’re supposed to pull them out SLOWLY. I pulled them out like I was rip-starting a lawn mower — the result? One screaming woman, one horizontal shit-fountain, one ruined bed, and one ended relationship.

2. Submitted by augustinem2

My ex said my “pretty eyes” would make him cum too quick, and he smothered my face with a pillow to hide them. I tried to lift the pillow off with a little too much force and pushed him off of me; I had to drive him to the emergency room for stitches in his head because it smashed into the bedside table. I also farted during anal sex that night and his penis shot out!

3. Submitted by Jason Garcia (Facebook)

Once I was pooped on during sex and no, I’m not into that kind of stuff. I’m probably the biggest germaphobe on the planet, so you can imagine my reaction. There was a lot of horrified screaming and cursing, followed by an hour-long scolding hot shower with a scouring pad, followed by awkward silence.
19 Awkward Sex Horror Stories That'll Make You Turn Celibate
NBC / Via tadtop.com

4. Submitted by Justin Thomson (Facebook)

I met a girl one night while I was on vacation in the Dominican Republic and went back to her room. I was really drunk and decided to try some fancy moves; I lost my balance in the process, and fell headfirst into the glass sliding door next to her bed. It was tempered glass, so it shattered the entire door.

5. Submitted by juliac440a16176.

I went home with this big redneck guy after a field party one night, and while we were having sex, his tooth fell out on me. I thought it was sweat because it was dark, but then he said, “Could you put my tooth back in my mouth for me?” It was so gross, but we ended up dating anyway.

6. Submitted by Linz Marie Narrie (Facebook)

I was having sex and the condom came off inside of me, and he had to fish it out. Luckily it didn’t ruin the mood — it was just extremely awkward for a minute.
19 Awkward Sex Horror Stories That'll Make You Turn Celibate
NBC / Via grantland.com

7. Submitted by amongthetrees778

Once I was hooking up with a guy for a couple months during the Christmas season. I had one of those clementine oranges sitting on my desk, and while still inside of me, he stopped and started eating the orange. After my incredulous look he said, “Refreshment break.”

8. Submitted by Samantha Zimlich (Facebook)

I was head over heels with my friend who was a couple of years older than me, and in a band. As soon as I turned 18, we hung out and decided to “watch a movie.” He put on Moulin Rouge and halfway into our hookup session, I got on top. After a few minutes I realized he was mumbling something. I listened closer and realized he was singing along to the movie. I stopped and asked him if he was singing, and he must not have realized he was doing out loud.

9. Submitted by caifengforever2

He licked my armpit and asked if he could blow air in my butt to “suck out my farts.”
19 Awkward Sex Horror Stories That'll Make You Turn Celibate
Paramount Pictures / Via gifemotions.tumblr.com

10. Submitted by Megan Barker (Facebook)

My boyfriend always likes to look at me naked saying, “Verrrrry nice!” in his best Borat impression.

11. Submitted by Georgia Washington (Facebook)

I was doing it with my girlfriend one time and I was on top. We were really hammering away, and all of a sudden I felt my dog licking my balls and asshole from behind. It was pretty messed up.

12. Submitted by amestevan

I was going down on my boyfriend and he was getting really into it, grabbing my head and thrusting. The deep throat was getting to be way too much, so I pushed myself away from him and instantly began to throw up all over my lap, on the floor, and almost on his penis. My boyfriend just watched in horror, but he was quick and grabbed stuff to clean the mess up. He couldn’t even laugh about it for another hour or so, while I was practically in tears from laughing so hard.
19 Awkward Sex Horror Stories That'll Make You Turn Celibate
NBC / Via pandawhale.com

13. Submitted by milleralysa.

The first time having sex with my current boyfriend was on a really old bed from the ’50s that was super unstable. The headboard was a shelf, and we were shaking it so hard that my kalimba fell off and hit me in the head. He kept asking if we should stop because I was bleeding badly, but I was really into it and it didn’t really hurt so I said no. When we were done, I went and looked in the mirror and there was this huge bubble of blood on my forehead.

14. Submitted by chisohawa

My ex-boyfriend and I were getting frisky for the first time. When my bra finally came off, he stared at my boobs for a couple seconds, shook them, and started singing, “Jiiiiggglllyyypuuuffff.” We were both 26.

15. Submitted by Neilia Nunes (Facebook)

I wanted to know if my Kegels were working, so I put the Ben Wa balls in and asked my boyfriend to pull it while I squeezed the muscles (arm-vagina wrestle, mind you). The string broke and the balls got stuck inside of me. Fortunately, I was able to “spit” them out, but my first thought was, “Oh, great, now I have to go to the ER and become the laughingstock of the night.”
19 Awkward Sex Horror Stories That'll Make You Turn Celibate
Walt Disney Pictures / Via giphy.com

16. Submitted by laurenreneej

I gave my husband a concussion after I kneed him in the head during a rather violent orgasm. We had to go to the ER. Whoops.

17. Submitted by Sunny Webb (Facebook)

A friend of mine was having boring sex with a one-night stand. She said something to him and he then flexed his arm. She asked, “What the f&$@ are you doing?” to which he replied, “You told me to get awesome.” She followed with, “I told you to GET OFF ME!” My favorite part of this story is that his response to what he thought was a request to “get awesome” was to flex during sex.

18. Submitted by jessannie

My fiancé and I were getting down in our room when our daughter’s cat squeezed through the door. She saw something moving under the covers and decided to attack it, the “it” being my fiancé’s balls. Game over.

19. Submitted by McClueless

My boyfriend wanted to go down on me while I was on my period — he insisted. Funny enough, he came back up gagging and then ran off to puke in my bathroom. Once he finally calmed down he claimed he swallowed a blot clot. It was thoroughly embarrassing and hilarious at the same time.